On top of the podium for the fourth time in a row at our National Championships. I have a rough time for the moment, since I do not feel much joy racing or winning races. It feels wrong not to able to appreciate a victory.
I’m spending much time trying to figure out, why biking this season just doesn’t make sense for me. I only have very little fun training and find it extremely diffucult to get myself going. The spark is gone and I try in every way to deny myself the fact.
This season has been everything else, than what I expected. Injuries has messed up my training and it has been difficult to accept, that my level and results haven’t been as easy achievable as last year. I am very good at blaming myself instead of just accepting the fact, that sometimes development just takes time. One good explanation, that I actually believe in is, that a bad half a year in a 3 – 4 year long carrier relatively is quite a lot, in comparison with a bad half year in a 10 – 15 year long carrier. I still have a lot to learn, and my main goals for now will be to learn patience and maintaining faith, that times will change and that I’ll once again find pleasure biking.